Author Topic: Nathan in 1x21  (Read 5036 times)

Offline dreamedinheist88

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2011, 02:27:47 PM »
Oh good lord, I can't stand this notion that Nathan is some sort of saint for going a few months without sex and Haley is the evil girfriend who should just be thankful he wasn't cheating on her since she's such a frigid prude. Please. Going without sex for a few months isn't gonna kill him. It's not like it's a life or death issue. Of cpurse that is exactly what our culture teaches us, sex is everything and you better not make your guy go without it or he'll cheat because he has ~needs.

Offline overcode

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2011, 03:02:27 PM »
Nobody made Nathan a saint for going a few months without sex. But also few mentioned that by choosing to go a few months without sex he was RESPECTFUL towards Haley.

I really don't see what a big deal is if a guy watches porn. It's a matter of taste at the end of the day. I am almost 30 years old and in a relationship for almost 12 years. I watched porn with my guy a few times and even if it's not my favorite gender it's not something so immoral as some of you say. I'm confident in myself and just because my boyfriend takes a sneak peak at porn at some point, it doesn't mean he loves me any less, or he doesn't find me attractive anymore. I'm not going to go into details, because apparently prude is the word for today.

Some of you talk about watching porn like it's some kind of disease. It's not. Most watch out of curiosity or they are bored, or who the hell knows.

And when did I say that the "good enough" part was just about sex? I believe I said the Nathan saw Haley as "good enough" even if they didn't have sex. So clearly it WAS more than about the sex for Nathan. The second part of the comment was sarcasm, for those who didn't catch it when first read my previous post.

@dreandinheist88

It's not about needs. Nathan didn't go after another girl. He was just watching porn. He didn't cheat on his girlfriend.


"But to see HER was to love HER, love but HER, and love HER forever"

BobMarley23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2011, 03:07:49 PM »
Oh good lord, I can't stand this notion that Nathan is some sort of saint for going a few months without sex and Haley is the evil girfriend who should just be thankful he wasn't cheating on her since she's such a frigid prude. Please. Going without sex for a few months isn't gonna kill him. It's not like it's a life or death issue. Of cpurse that is exactly what our culture teaches us, sex is everything and you better not make your guy go without it or he'll cheat because he has ~needs.

Culture is a huge part of what shapes us. I know that in my culture it's sex until marriage, and watching porn, or masturbating is a huge sin and is seemed as shameful.

Anywho, about this thing, IMO, what stuck me most was when Haley said, "Is Peyton a fantasy too?" I mean, it seemed that she was okay with it now... However, now he's pushing limits, if that makes sense. I know the thing with Peyton was a misunderstanding, however, it just annoys me that Haley was okay with him watching porn. Because he said, "It's just a fantasy" and she seemed like 'okay, but what about Peyton'

Offline overcode

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2011, 03:17:09 PM »
Peyton was a real person, his ex-girlfriend. It was somehow a normal reaction that Haley felt a little insecure about herself faced with his ex's naked pictures.

And that's the difference I was trying to make. If he fantasizes about his ex that Nathan is disrespectful towards Haley. If he has a fantasy about some fictional character it's nothing wrong with that.

"But to see HER was to love HER, love but HER, and love HER forever"

Offline BiggestSophiaBushFan

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #19 on: November 22, 2011, 04:10:55 PM »
I agree with you sms, it was disrespectful to Haley but at the same time I tihnk thats the old Nathan, before falling in love with Haley, even when Haley was different to all the girl he was with.

Offline BiggestSophiaBushFan

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #20 on: November 22, 2011, 04:56:59 PM »
Sam you're right I checked out some season 1 episodes, and thats correct...now more than ever I consider that disrespectful too,.

Offline Ingmar

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #21 on: November 22, 2011, 05:26:35 PM »
Coming from a guy's perspective...I was kind of having double thoughts about it.

1. Nathan knew Haley. He knew everything sex related was a big deal to her. So him checking out porn on the internet ( even thought he'd never meet those woman in real life, and they were just a fantasy...there are a lot of married girls dreaming about Patrick Dempsey and others...everything does that..dreaming )....he should have realised it could hurt Haley.

2. I think...that boys can perfectly control their urges on their 16th...trust me, I am a boy. And I went throught that phase. It was always my belief that if you REALLY love someone you could respect her/him enought not to watch porn or something. Or check at naked pictures of ex girlfriends/boyfriends....so that excuse doesn't count as many others have said.

3. I think Haley ( and I would to ) was more offended by him, still having pictures of Peyton. She knew Peyton. She was his ex. They already had sex. So him checking out her pictures or atleast still having him...not cool.


That said...( and that's just how I think! ) we don't know for certain if he checked porn or at naked Peyton while they were dating.

And I said before I was kind of double of it because of the following :

- Haley was a virgin and she wanted to take it slow ( all the respect to her! ). But does that automatically mean that Nathan should swear off every sexual activity aswell?

I'm on Haley's side completely, but I try to look to it from both ways.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2011, 04:56:14 AM by AlwaysHappy »

Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #22 on: November 22, 2011, 05:52:03 PM »
I think it's great some people feel secure enough to not have any problems with their significant other watching porn and whatnot but we're not talking about you and I honestly don't want to know details about that. We're talking about Nathan and Haley and having in mind Haley's character and her beliefs, Nathan watching porn knowing far too well how she felt about sex and how she'd possibly react to that is disrespectful.

Girls in porn aren't fictional characters. They're real women. I'm just so sick of people excusing guys with sex related issues because they "have needs". We can all control our needs, especially if we love someone. Isn't that part of what love is? Making sacrifices for the person we love?

This just all depends on our beliefs. To me, Nathan going after girls for sex when he wasn't getting any from his girlfriend would be awful and disrespectful but that doesn't make him watching porn any better, it doesn't mean that isn't disrespectful as well because to me it is.

Let's just agree to disagree though.


Offline Ingmar

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2011, 03:39:00 AM »
I do in fact agree with you....I just try to look to it from both ways. That's all.

Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2011, 05:56:36 AM »
I do in fact agree with you....I just try to look to it from both ways. That's all.

Oh my post wasn't directed at you, I was talking in general. I liked hearing the male perspective about it. Thanks for that :)

Offline HaleyFan88

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #25 on: September 30, 2013, 10:49:25 AM »
I do find it disrespectful to Haley for Nathan to be looking at porn because of how serious and insecure Haley was about sex.  I don't care if Nathan was "only" 17 - you can very much control your actions and urges at that age so that whole notion is completely lost on me.  There is no justified excuse - it's like someone cheating and saying they simply couldn't control their raging hormones.  What?!  Now, I don't hate Nathan or anything because of this, unless he was looking at Peyton as well (which I believed him when he said he wasn't).  He and Haley shared a different view on sex, and at that point in their relationship, I don't think he quite grasped how special sex can be.  Before, it was always meaningless - just sex so I don't think he understood why Haley took it so seriously.  He even said it once in 118, "it's just sex", so I don't think he was "wrong" in terms of how he, personally, has always felt about sex.  But it was still disrespectful towards her.  Their relationship was real and not just two people who sleep together with no true feelings like the ones he had in the past.  So while I get that sex was just sex to him at that time, he knew it wasn't for Haley.  He knew how insecure and how serious she took it and his age doesn't justify him disrespecting her like that.  I'm not at all discounting that he's abstained from sex for Haley but if you love and care for someone, that's what you do.  For me, it did show how much he cared about/loved
her so I'm proud of him for that.

Look, I have no issues with porn.  If people want to watch it, people can watch it - I don't care.  But it's also not wrong for people to be against it.  And I don't think it's fair to call someone a prude if they are - that's just rude and judgmental. Myself - I'd rather not watch it and I don't want my boyfriend watching it either but I'm no prude.  I find it insulting to be slapped with that label.  IMO, it's disrespectful to watch/do something your significant other is against (within reason of course).  If you don't care that your significant other watches it or you watch it together or whatever - good for you.  I could careless if that's the case.  But don't criticize someone else for feeling differently.  I'm someone who takes sex seriously, even without being a virgin (sorry - personal info).  I'm not someone who believes in going out and having sex with random people or having sex with every person you date.  If you do do that then that's your business - do whatever you want; it's not my place to judge.  It's just my own personal feelings about the situation.  I think it's wrong - it's as simple as that. Other people may disagree and that's fine, but don't you dare call me a prude or whatever just because we may have different beliefs/opinions/views in life.  I think it's sad that someone who is a virgin receives more ridicule than someone who isn't these days.