Author Topic: Nathan in 1x21  (Read 5035 times)

BobMarley23

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Nathan in 1x21
« on: November 20, 2011, 07:13:26 AM »
I was just watching this episode the other day, and I thought it was kinda insensitive when he told Haley, "It's just a fantasy" when she told him the cyber girls weren't real... Did anyone else find it a little insensitive, like a fantasy is something you want, implying that Haley isn't. 

Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2011, 05:56:56 PM »
I think he just used the wrong words. I didn't take that as Nathan saying Haley wasn't a fantasy to him but more of his way of saying it wasn't such a big deal to him because the girls weren't even real.

Not that I agree with Nathan watching porn but I didn't see any insensitiveness in the words you mentioned.

Offline dreamedinheist88

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2011, 06:01:55 PM »
but the thing is, girls in porn ARE real...they're real women. So I do think that Haley took him saying that as saying that girls like that are the ones he fantasizes about, and not her. and it's something I understand, all girls want to be sexy and a fantasy for their boyfriends. I think even girls who think Haley was being wrong and a prude in this scenario can relate to not feeling pretty enough or feeling insecure when it comes to your guy looking at perfect porn stars and fantasizing about them.

Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2011, 06:07:56 PM »
but the thing is, girls in porn ARE real...they're real women. So I do think that Haley took him saying that as saying that girls like that are the ones he fantasizes about, and not her. and it's something I understand, all girls want to be sexy and a fantasy for their boyfriends. I think even girls who think Haley was being wrong and a prude in this scenario can relate to not feeling pretty enough or feeling insecure when it comes to your guy looking at perfect porn stars and fantasizing about them.

For sure and I'm on Haley's side about the entire thing. It's actually one of the scenes that I was able to relate to her the most.

I was talking about Nathan's pov as he said "it's just a fantasy", I don't think he said those words as a way of saying to Haley he didn't fantasize about her and hurting her as the OP suggested.

Offline dreamedinheist88

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2011, 06:14:38 PM »
I know what you mean, and he may not have meant that, but I do think that that is how Haley took it.

Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2011, 06:19:06 PM »
I know what you mean, and he may not have meant that, but I do think that that is how Haley took it.

Yeah, she definitely took it that way. I don't know, I don't want to make generalizations but guy's obsession with porn is a little weird. Most girls don't like it and that leaves them insecure because they think they aren't enough. I understand and I think the exact same thing but my brother and I had a talk about it and he said them watching porn doesn't mean they don't love their girlfriends or find them attractive. I swear I don't understand the logic though. I guess you have to have a Y chromossome to understand it   :P

BobMarley23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2011, 03:34:29 AM »
I guess he didn't mean it, but maybe he did, i mean why else would have he been watching porn, if he was content with Haley and saw her as a fantasy...Boys have weird logic

Offline cdeal94

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2011, 04:16:22 PM »
Am I the only one who thought him watching porn wasn't that big of a deal? I can understand Haley being upset but I think it was blown out of proportion..

Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2011, 05:26:51 PM »
I guess that depends on everyone's beliefs. I see guys watching porn while they're in a committed relationship with somebody else as a huge way of disrespecting not only his relationship but the girl they're with at the time.

They're still looking lustfully at other women. I don't like it at all and I think it is insensitive. I just don't buy that whole "they have needs" excuse and the whole "poor him, he wasn't getting any so he had to relieve the 'pain' somehow", as Lucas said. I think love should be greater than that and the fact you can control your so called "needs" is just proof enough you love someone and are able to put that person first instead of yourself and your own desires. If you truly love someone, that someone should be enough, for everything.

I guess to me it's just a question of maturity and guys not thinking with their lower heads, which is something almost impossible for the most of them, I know.

Offline gophergirl21

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2011, 05:34:38 PM »
^I definitely agree with you. One question I always wondered about was if Nathan was actually looking at those sites while he was in a relationship with Haley or if was more from before they were together? I know it probably matters little in the grand scheme of their relationship, but that would be better if those things were on his computer solely from before their relationship.
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Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2011, 05:42:09 PM »
^I definitely agree with you. One question I always wondered about was if Nathan was actually looking at those sites while he was in a relationship with Haley or if was more from before they were together? I know it probably matters little in the grand scheme of their relationship, but that would be better if those things were on his computer solely from before their relationship.

I wonder that too. I would be singing a different tune if we knew he had been watching it before being in a relationship with Haley because he wouldn't have any kind of commitment and whatever he did would be his own business and wouldn't affect anybody but him.

I guess I always thought he was looking at it while they were dating. I think Nathan would've said right away he wasn't anymore if he truly hadn't been watching it lately.

Offline overcode

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2011, 08:38:04 AM »
You all forgot to mention something. Nathan was 16 years old when he was watching porn. What 16 years old (boy) DOESN'T watch porn? If you show me one, I'll show you a liar...

I don't think it was disrespectful towards Haley. I mean girls are allowed to fantasize about some rock star/big actor falling for them (stupid example... you get the drift), but boys are not allowed to fantasize about having hot steaming sex with some slutty bimbo from a porn movie? Double standards, my friends. It would have been wrong if he was thinking about some chick while having sex with his girlfriend. But that wasn't the case, was it? Because he wasn't actually having sex with his girlfriend yet.

Nathan was used to having sex before Haley. He accepted she didn't want to have sex before marriage. He didn't go to look for sex somewhere else. That is RESPECT if you ask me. Now he is not even allowed to watch it? 

PS: Since Nathan stayed with Haley in spite of not having sex with her, I guess he saw her as "good enough". And that should be enough for Haley. Regarding the sex, how the hell would he know if she was "good enough" since he wasn't getting any?



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Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2011, 09:46:00 AM »
You all forgot to mention something. Nathan was 16 years old when he was watching porn. What 16 years old (boy) DOESN'T watch porn? If you show me one, I'll show you a liar...

I don't think it was disrespectful towards Haley. I mean girls are allowed to fantasize about some rock star/big actor falling for them (stupid example... you get the drift), but boys are not allowed to fantasize about having hot steaming sex with some slutty bimbo from a porn movie? Double standards, my friends. It would have been wrong if he was thinking about some chick while having sex with his girlfriend. But that wasn't the case, was it? Because he wasn't actually having sex with his girlfriend yet.

You claim we're having double standards when we haven't even talked about girls fantasizing about actors and the things you talk about so how do you make that assumption? For me, yes, that's just as bad as guys watching porn because what we're (or at least what I am) talking about here is how one party is looking at someone else who isn't the person he/she is committed to in a lustful way. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl or how they do it, they're disrespecting their significant other by doing those things.

Had Haley been watching porn and fantasizing about other guys, I would condone her as well. Simple as that.

What I'm trying to get at is that I believe love should be greater than any of our "needs" and I doubt Nathan didn't know that him watching porn would hurt Haley, especially when he knew her so well. Guys know girls don't like it when they do it even though they think it's not that meaningful to them. I believe them when they say it's not a big of a deal for them and that they don't love their girlfriends because of it but they know that's not what their girls think so why would they continue doing it? That's putting themselves and their horniness in front of their girlfriend's feelings and that's far from being respectful, imo.

Quote
PS: Since Nathan stayed with Haley in spite of not having sex with her, I guess he saw her as "good enough". And that should be enough for Haley. Regarding the sex, how the hell would he know if she was "good enough" since he wasn't getting any?


Being "good enough" is so much more than sex so you completely missed our point.

Offline HaleyScott23

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2011, 12:57:54 PM »
I agree, sms :) Every single bit.

Offline Agnes

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Re: Nathan in 1x21
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2011, 01:35:48 PM »
You all forgot to mention something. Nathan was 16 years old when he was watching porn. What 16 years old (boy) DOESN'T watch porn? If you show me one, I'll show you a liar...

I don't think it was disrespectful towards Haley. I mean girls are allowed to fantasize about some rock star/big actor falling for them (stupid example... you get the drift), but boys are not allowed to fantasize about having hot steaming sex with some slutty bimbo from a porn movie? Double standards, my friends. It would have been wrong if he was thinking about some chick while having sex with his girlfriend. But that wasn't the case, was it? Because he wasn't actually having sex with his girlfriend yet.

Nathan was used to having sex before Haley. He accepted she didn't want to have sex before marriage. He didn't go to look for sex somewhere else. That is RESPECT if you ask me. Now he is not even allowed to watch it? 

PS: Since Nathan stayed with Haley in spite of not having sex with her, I guess he saw her as "good enough". And that should be enough for Haley. Regarding the sex, how the hell would he know if she was "good enough" since he wasn't getting any?

Completely agree!

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