Liz, with all due respect, but I don't agree with you at all in some of the things that you said, which is perfectly okay, but that POV bothers me a little. As I stated in the OP, I feel like the male characters in this show get away with the things they do way too easily and women are the ones I see scrutinizing the female characters the most for their actions. It's the same thing when it comes to calling Brooke a slut and other things, but I digress.
He really did nothing wrong. If anything, I understand he should have told Haley about it right away, but he did not kiss her back. You could see he was trying to be respectful and nice to her as an employee. He didn't ask for anything and he didn't let her do anything. He stopped her immediately.
I definitely do not agree with this. He may not have kissed Carrie back, but he did absolutely nothing to stop her obvious advances on him and that was the reason why Carrie thought that he wanted her and that she was going to get him. Nathan just did nothing about the situation, except for that one time where he told her she had drunk a little too much and was unprofessional, but even after that, she ignored him and went to the pool anyway and Nathan, once again, pretended like she wasn't doing a thing he knew his wife didn't approve of. That bothered me, how she flirted with him and he said and did nothing, over and over again. However, what bothered me the most was how he was all "Haley doesn't need to know everything" to Carrie. What husband does that? That's Nathan fully disrespecting his wife in order to save another woman's ass from being rightfully
fired. That personally annoyed me more than the whole shower thing, which I'm totally on Haley's side, too.
She just finds her husband in the shower with the Nanny and while I agree her immediate reaction might have been a little impulsive and she could've let him explain himself, it's also understandable. I'd act like a psycho biatch if I found my man in the shower with somebody else too. Nonetheless, we see later in the episode that Haley's willing to talk to him. She asks him if there's something else other than the flirting and he lies straight to her face. All on Nathan. If Nathan had told her about the kiss right in that moment, everything would've been different, but he didn't. He lied and aggravated the situation even more. Haley had trusted him in that moment and when Carrie tells her the truth, she still decides to believe her husband over her and that's why you see her hugging him by the end of the episode where it's clear she's just ready to forgive him and move on. Then she learns he had yet again lied to her and she just rightfully explodes and reaches her limit (even if I don't agree with her wanting a divorce at that moment). If I had been Haley, I would've let him stay in the dog house for a lot longer than she actually.
she makes it out to be and she is constantly acting like she's too busy for him and she's working so hard and blah blah blah
But where did you get this from, Liz? I fully understood in 5x13 that Haley was talking about that time where she had be both a mother and a father to Jamie because her husband was too busy feeling sorry for himself and ignored his family for 4 months straight. I don't blame her for not having time to be sexy for him or even wanting to. Even before the whole Carrie thing, it was obvious Haley was still hurt that Nathan basically pretended he didn't have a wife and a child for such a long time. That wound was still far from being closed and then the Carrie incident happened and things just got too much for her. That was always my interpretation.
I'm a Haley fan, so maybe I am biased but I think this has more to do with the feminist side of me than anything else. Women are always expected to please their husbands, be good mothers and whatnot, but when men blantly ignore their families, everything's okay and people still pat their backs in return, but if it's a woman doing it, the sky will fall down! That image that women have to be the perfect housewives is still so present nowadays that it really annoys.
I agree that husbands are important and if Haley, for absolutely no reason, said that she didn't have time to be sexy and to be with Nathan, I would blame her but I can't in this situation. Nathan didn't deserve it after how much he had damaged his family in those four months. Women aren't robots. Who is the woman who's hurt by her husband and still gets sexy for him? I don't work like that. My husband will get what he deserves and if he hurt me and my son like Nathan hurt Haley and Jamie, I certainly wouldn't bother to give him that. Not until I was fully healed which Haley wasn't by that time.
But that's just my perception, I just wanted to clear it out